I know the title sounds redundant but do you know how many moms neglect themselves to take care of their children and their household? I see the memes on social media, one in particular depicting this beautiful woman with a guy chasing her. Then when that same guy knocks her up and she doesn’t look like the woman in the first scene he wants nothing to do with her. How many of you mamas have stopped doing your makeup all the time? Stopped caring how your hair looked before leaving your house? You do the least possible, checking to make sure your clothes are atleast clean, before heading out to accomplish the day’s tasks? But you can bet your children look good. They’re all groomed, got their hair looking cute, wearing those cute clothes you bought them not that long ago.
Moms give up a lot more than just their bodies when having children. Their focus shifts from themselves to these little humans who come into this world innocent and need mom to protect them, feed them, guide them. But before kids, she only had to worry about herself. She only had to worry about how she looked and what she had to do on that day. The time she takes to dress her kids used to be her time to do her make-up and hair. I know for a fact that my care of how I looked definitely lessened after having kids. When we are doing anything, my kids come first. I make sure they’re dressed and all set to go before I do anything to myself. And guess what?! Most days I don’t feel like doing anything to myself. I wear my jeans, a tshirt and my slip on shoes. I have a husband who thinks I am beautiful even when I know I look like a zombie.
But during my journey into self awareness, I realized that even though my husband still finds me beautiful no matter what I look like, I need to make myself feel beautiful. I need to make sure I have that extra time to do a little bit of make-up, to pick out an actual outfit, make myself feel good when I look into the mirror. Self care is important.
“You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.”-Dr. Phil. This statement is so incredibly important and true!!
And yes. I know so many reading this are going to think something along the lines of ‘You have a husband, why doesn’t he help with getting the kids ready?’ Well let me stop you right there. Since we have been together my husband has been the primary income. That’s a huge burden on his shoulders. Then add a wife and children to it?! My role as his wife is to help with that burden. So me doing the most for our children helps to greatly eleviate his burden. He does help me with our children. He does help me with household chores but I do not expect it from him because he provides for our family.
To all the moms out there, take some time for you. Ask a family member to watch the little ones for an hour or so. Just long enough for you to grocery shop alone, take an uninterrupted nap, have lunch with a friend, whatever will help you feel more beautiful. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and we shouldn’t have to give up that feeling when we become a mom.
This world needs more kindness in it. If we all did something, no matter how small, to uplift eachother I can only imagine the wonderous things we would be able to accomplish. If you go out and see a mom who seems a bit stressed, offer your assistance or give her a reassuring head nod. See a woman who seems to be a bit stressed? Compliment her. Offer a hug. It’s the little things. It doesn’t matter if you know them or not. Something you do could have a huge impact on someone else’s life and when that happens, it creates the snowball effect. What goes around comes around.
In order to create change in this world, we must be willing to create it. Create the snowball effect and watch the magnificent things that will happen to our world.